Not So Victorious
by my love addiction
Summary: Cat's okay with Beck and Jade dating, because they're her best friends. Cat's okay with listening to Jade's troubles with Beck, because she's her best friend. And Cat's okay with 'just hanging' with Beck, because he's her best friend. But is she really okay? Rated T for drinking, some graphic images, mild swearing and mild depression.
1. Couldn't Be Happier

**All new series. Hope you like it!**

**I call this the 2****nd**** person P.O.V. but some people call it the 'roleplay' P.O.V.**

**CPOV**

You giggle lightly, breaking the silent air in his house. You're crouching down besides the fireplace, right behind that round, plush, circular ottoman that you always loved to sit on because it spun. The house is dark with not a sound to be heard, but if you listened closely, you just might be able to hear the slow, deep breathing of other people.

It's your best friend's birthday; he just turned seventeen and you and his other five friends have planned a surprise birthday party for him at his house. His parents are out of town on his request as his birthday present. He claimed that he just wanted some silence when you asked him why.

You mentally sigh as you remember that you still haven't gotten him a birthday present. The idea of pooling some money into his savings for a car was put to a rest when his parents bought him that expensive new Ferrari last year. Other than that, you couldn't think of a thing. Something lurches in your stomach and you know for a fact that it's guilt.

Suddenly, you hear the sounds of an approaching car, coming up the long driveway, then the sounds of someone slamming a car door shut and setting the alarm. You giggle again to only receive several shushes from the hidden guests.

There's a rustling of keys, then the door swings open. You only see his frame, but you can tell that he's glad to be home. His shoulders aren't slumped like usual at school and he seems to be whistling a happy tune. Wait, you know that song: it's YOUR song. You deemed it that only three days ago.

The lights snap on and everyone is jumping up, yelling "Surprise!" or "Happy Birthday!" You sit so wrapped up in your thoughts that by the time you jump out of your hiding spot and scream "Happy Birthday, Beck!", everyone is giving him a hug and laughing at the look of shock on his face.

He just laughs like he usually does on your mess-ups. But not the mean laughs. No, the ones that means he understands why you messed up and basically explaining that he would, too.

You rush forward to hug him, but you're cut off by your OTHER best friend. She elbows you in the side and flings her arms around his neck, slapping her lips to his. He moans and you look away pointedly, along with the other people who are just as disgusted with this couple as you are. After a few minutes of struggling, he pushes her away, breathing heavily, a crazed look on his face, but she surges forward again.

You know that he loves her; he's loved her from the beginning. From the day he saw her at your house in ninth grade. She likes him back, but it took a while for her to get there. She's mean, bitter, with a sarcastic tongue. Pretty much the opposite of you.

But opposites attract and you can't help but love her just the way she is. She protects you from all of the people that make fun of you at school. She calls them names you would never dare to whisper, even when you're alone in your bedroom with the door locked. When their hurtful words get to you, she says the kindest things she can make to you, throwing in a comment here and there about how they are just jealous for how talented you are.

And you believe her. She's talented herself. Maybe not in the same things, but in her own way. So you love her, like you do with your other best friend.

But you can't help to wonder what he sees in her. She has raven-black hair with turquoise streaks in the back. She has a star tattoo on her wrist and an eyebrow piercing over her left eye. Her lips were always turned down in a scowl, lines running horizontal above her furrowed brow.

You, on the other hand, have hair as red as a red velvet cupcake and it's long too, well past your shoulders. Your eyes are a warm, brown chocolate and you have dimples on your cheeks every time you smile.

"_Jade_!" your friend Tori yells. "Give him a chance to breathe!"

You hear the jealousy in her voice. She had told you a mere two days ago that she liked him, oblivious to the fact that you're his best friend, and as his best friend, you tell each other everything and watch out for one another. All of your secrets are in between the two of you.

But Tori made you promise that you wouldn't tell him, whether best friends or not. You feel guilty every time you think about it, especially since it's one of the two secrets that you have ever kept from him.

Finally, Jade and Beck pull apart, slightly breathless, and smiling widely. Tori's head is a certain shade of pink that stains her Latina face, and you can't help the slight frown that appears instantly on your lips. The people around you are 'oohing' and whistling, making fun of the panting couple.

"Sorry," Jade snaps, giving Tori a scathing look, but when she turns to you, she gives you a small smile. You automatically smile back, a reflex reaction you got from living with your brother, but there's the hidden pain behind it, and your mind floats to your _other_ secret.

He's your best friend, so of course you love him, but you can't tell what kind of love it is. Is it brother-like, or something more? It tears you apart each time you see him.

"You guys," he says, blushing slightly. "You didn't have to do this for me, I swear."

"Of course we did," you pipe in. "It's your birthday, Beck."

He smiles at you like you're his favorite person in the world, then takes that one step to wrap you in his arms; this is the place you always think you should be in. But as soon as he comes, he leaves, being tugged away by Tori, practically dragged to the refreshment table.

As the party goes on, Beck is hardly talking with one person for very long. Jade tends to be with you pretty much the whole time, but there are times when she leaves. She takes off in the direction of Beck whenever he talks with a pretty girl. You smile and giggle on the outside, like always, because you are humored by your friend's constant jealousy.

But on the inside, you're just as green with jealousy as she is. It's not hard to see the coveted looks the girls give him, or the light touch of a girl's hand on his shoulder. It's not heard to hear the want in their voice as they suggest a movie. So you'd love to stalk off after Jade and stand on the other side of Beck, making the girls around him back off slowly.

He doesn't notice this when Jade does it. He's too busy staring at her, drinking in her beauty.

You sit alone on the steps outside his front door. It's almost midnight, but the party still rages on. Although Hollywood Arts is a different kind of high school, the parties are more or less the same. There's still the drama, the excitement, the make-ups and the break-ups, and of course: the booze. Every party you've gone too since the beginning of your Junior year has always had the buckets full of Bud Light, or Samuel Adams.

You've stayed away, and so has Tori, Beck, your good friends Andre' and Robbie, but Jade was a different story.

Living with divorced parents is what you think made Jade the angry, bitter girl she is today. And the only way she found an escape from her parents' fighting or the pressure of each parent bad-mouthing the other, is through drinking. She doesn't drink a lot. Maybe two beers a party. Four is her max.

But what scares you the most it's the way she changes while she drinks. And you don't like to talk about it. Who could you talk about it to, though? Beck refuses to stop her because otherwise she gets mad at him, and he can feel for her. His parents are controlling and strict –kind, but still very controlling and strict. So one day, he decided that he would move out. Not far away. More like a few 20 feet away in an old camper parked in the driveway of his house.

His parents gave him limits, and he gladly accepted them, as long as he didn't have to live under their roof with their rules. You admire him for this, wishing that Jade could find a different way to escape all of the anxiety she got at the two houses she alternated between each week.

You left Jade after she grabbed her second, quickly told Tori that Jade was drinking (whenever Jade drank, she was nicer to everybody – except Tori, who probably had to deal with Jade's cutting remarks the most), then stepped out the front door to get some fresh air.

Although most people take you for an idiot, you know better. Sure, your mathematical skills and history skill aren't the best, but you have a certain area in your brain that the special doctor said 'was abnormally large and took up your other smarts' space'. You decided that it basically meant that you were smart in different areas people often didn't consider to be smart at all.

It was like your own, private joke – which you shared with Beck.

The door is flung open and a couple stumbles out. You watch with a wrinkled nose as they make their way drunkenly down the driveway towards the cars that had been hidden a block down the road. A small part of you worries if they should be driving at all, but you say nothing; you just hope that they pass out before they even drive.

You even hope they aren't going to their car to drive home, instead do some…other things.

The door is flung open once again and you jump lightly. Whoever came out laughs and takes a seat beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

"Hey, Beck," you mumble.

"What are you doing out here, Cat? The party's inside."

"I just…needed some fresh air."

"Well, come back inside with me. Tori's bringing out a cake," you see him frown a little at saying this, "and after we were going to get the party games going. Whoop!" he cheers sarcastically and you go into a fit of giggles. When you finally finish, you clutch at your sides and moan.

"Beck, you made my stomach hurt."

"I'm sure some cake could fix that," he says teasingly.

You laugh once and nod. "Okay."

He gets to his feet and offers you a hand. You take it, loving how right it feels with your small hand inside of his big one. But the feeling lasts for only a second as he pulls away as soon as you're on his feet. He slings his arm around you again, but you prefer that he would just keep your hands entwined.

The music is almost blasting even louder than it was before you left to sit outside, and you cover your ears childishly. He smiles at you and tries to pry one hand from your ear; he succeeds and moves close to yell in your ear so you can hear.

"I'll go get you a piece of cake. Tori's already brought it out."

You nod at him then slap your hand back onto your ear. He smiles at you one more time before he vanishes into the crowd. You sway a little while you leave your hands clamped onto the sides of your head, humming a different tune because you can't hear the one that's blaring all around you. People look at you funny, but you ignore them, sighing internally and wishing a little that Jade was here to scare them off.

Beck returns a moment later carrying two plates of chocolate-chocolate cake. One has sprinkles on it, and the other has whipped cream on it.

"Here you go," you see him mouth, and you tentatively lower your arms. You wince as soon as the pounding music invades your ear drums, but you don't cover them again and instead take the cake from Beck, thanking him graciously.

"I added your favorite topping, too," he shouts, gesturing towards the whipped cream. You smile at him, and from a quick glance around, you realize that you're the only one with the special topping. You sit next to him on that circle ottoman that you love, moving your legs back and forth absentmindedly, making the ottoman rotate. Even though he hates it, he puts up with it good-naturedly, because he's your best friend.

He finishes his piece first and tries to smear the leftover frosting on his plate all over your nose. You shriek and duck and weave, but he manages to pin you to the ottoman and wipe his fork across your cheek. You laugh and protest, trying to wipe it off, your own almost-finished piece tossed upside down on the ground next to you.

He laughs, then groans when he spots the piece.

"Someone else better be picking this up, 'cause I'm not." He nods towards the room filled with people dancing, talking, eating, and laughing.

"Why don't you just hire a maid?" you ask.

He smiles at you crookedly.

"I don't think my parents want to pay for a maid just because our house is trashed once."

"Oh," is all you say while nodding and trying to look like you understand when truth-be-told, you don't.

He sighs next to you and you copy him, body language and all. He smiles and laughs lightly at you once, playing with his fork.

"I just sort of wished today would be mellow, you know? Like maybe a movie with you and Jade or something…Whatever, though. This is cool."

You know you should answer him seriously, but that same instinct that the doctor said you have more of than other people says that you should keep the conversation light and happy, not go into anything too deep. Like dissecting what he meant about seeing a movie with 'you and Jade'.

"What movie would you want to see?" you ask, concentrating on playing with a piece of your long hair.

Through your peripheral vision, you see him smile widely.

"Uh, I don't know…maybe-"

"Can it be Titanic?" you cut off.

"Titanic?"

"Yeah, I love that movie. We should act it out in class sometime." You let go of your strand of hair and lean forward, your arms spread apart to emphasize your words. "Like the ending."

He looks at you questioningly.

"When the boat sinks."

There's a pause and he smiles at you like you're crazy and your eyebrows come together.

"Oh my, God. I just gave away the ending," you say sadly. "Spoiler alert!" you say with a low, throaty laugh, though.

He laughs and you laugh with him, the people around you staring at you two like you have straw for hair. When your laughter dies down, Beck stretches his long legs out and yawns. He looks around and leans in close to your ear, close enough to whisper to you.

"I kind of just want to go to bed."

You just nod at him sympathetically.

"Well, go to bed."

He laughs with no humor this time.

"I can't just go to bed, Cat," he says with a hint of impatience in his voice.

"Why not?" you ask, somewhat startles with his sudden mood-change.

"Because this is my party and it's my birthday and I have to wait until everyone leaves and Jade and I…" He grumbles in annoyance and you look at the floor. Jade…_again_?

The two of you are silent for a moment before the song switches. You gasp and clutch his arm, squealing quietly as the first few notes start.

_When you're on a holiday  
You can't find the words to say  
All the things that come to you  
And I wanna feel it too_

_On an island in the sun  
You'll be playin' and havin' fun  
And it makes me feel so fun  
I can't control my brain_

"Beck! Beck" You stand up and jump around him, all while holding onto his arm. "We have to dance, Beck. This is our song!"

"You're right," he says, his weird mood over. "We do have to dance."

He brings you into the middle of the crowd of people and you dance your heart out next to him and he doesn't care.

Because he's your best friend.

But as your best friend, he also doesn't bring you close like all of the couples around you are. They are doing a sort of fast slow-dance, while you twirl and jump and stomp your feet as if you're at a concert, and he just laughs too much to make many dance moves. When the song ends, he falls backwards onto his couch, but doesn't bring you with him like the couples around you are doing.

Because he's your best friend.

And when the party's over and he waves good-bye to everyone and gives you a small squeeze, you don't argue or ask for more.

Because he's your best friend.

And he's her boyfriend.

**How'd you guys like it? I don't know…I think I might just make this a one-shot. Review if you think otherwise. For now, I'll just leave it as T, though, because of mention of drinking and mild depression (Jade's story), and of course, the Bade graphic kissing, haha. Ok, maybe it wasn't that graphic. ;) Anyway, tell me how you think about this, and I might consider making this have chapters. If you know me, though, you know that I find it impossible to finish anything, so be patient.**

**Song was 'Island In The Sun' by Weezer.**

**-TeamSwiss737**


	2. Wow, That's Mature

**Second chapter just like you guys asked!**

**anon: I honestly had plans for that, but there will definitely be some bumps, twists, and sharp turns along the way. So be patient! And thanks for reviewing **

**VavanBoriLovee: This is for you! Second chapter haha! But I do need ideas on how to go on with this. The party was one problem, now I just need another…than another. So please help me out, if you'd like. And thanks for the review! **

**2****nd**** person P.O.V again. All Cat unless I should do someone else's…?**

**Okay so I know I didn't do it last time but…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, unfortunately.**

**CPOV-**

Later that night, you can't sleep at all. The picture of Beck's face when he says good-bye to you keeps popping into your head like an alarm. And the more you think about it, the more you think about your last memory of him for the night: he's half-way closed the door on you, a tired smile on his face. He turns around sharply, leaving the door open.

"Jade?" he asks. You lean around him to see her sitting on the couch. You watch with wide eyes as she unbuttons the first button on her dark red, long-sleeved shirt.

"Happy Birthday, Beck," she murmurs, no – slurs.

And then the door shuts, right in your face.

You squirm in your bed as you hug Mr. Giraffe close. You whisper to him the two secrets that you are keeping from Beck, and you imagine that Mr. Giraffe is nodding with you and crying with. You imagine him putting his hoof around you rubbing your back sympathetically. You don't know when it became reality, but you hear your brother crying silently while sitting next to you. He's rubbing your back.

"Why are you crying, Cat?" he asks sadly. You turn over to face your older brother. You see the tears in his eyes, and the confusion. You sigh, earning a tear to fall from your ADHD, eighteen year-old brother's cheek. You wipe it away and tell him that you're okay, you just have a lung ache.

"You mean a heart ache," he says matter-of-factly.

You smile at him through your own tears.

"Yeah," you say quietly. "But I'm okay."

He leaves a little while later and you feel a twinge of guiltiness because he was up so late. Your mom would have to deal with him in the morning until you came home. You think about why you're gone every Saturday morning, and the pressure it puts on your mother since she's a single mother and a widowed wife, and not having you with her means a lot of pressure to handle, especially because of your brother.

As a family of three, you've made it far. From living in almost poverty a year after your dad's death, to your mom getting promoted as co-CEO in the Pear Phone industries. You went from pinched house in the slums, to a massive modern house equipped with the waterfall pool and skylights and glass walls.

You've changed so much over the past five years, but you've also have stayed the same. Like your weekly trips every Saturday morning to the graveyard in which both your dad and your grandpa 'sleep' in, or so your brother says.

It does leave your mom a little bit antsy each Saturday, but she respects your decision anyway, and lets you go, always leaving you with the parting words of "Tell your father I said 'Hi'."

You still feel a little guilty, though, like you always do. Because that's how you acted five years ago. You always felt bad for others, not yourself, and you always felt like you could have done something to make things right. You always found yourself thinking: _I could have given them my babysitting money, and they wouldn't be begging for food on the streets today._

Your mother has tried to talk you out of thinking like this because it has had its consequences. You don't like to talk about it, and neither does your mother, so you don't.

When you finally fall asleep, your dreams somehow manage to be care-free, peaceful, with no Jade or Beck in them at all. It's twelve in the afternoon when you wake up. Your brother has already had both breakfast and lunch and he's been begging to see you all morning, but your mother has forbidden that he wake you up. Little do you know that she was in the doorway of your room last night, listening to your conversation with your brother.

She smiles at you as you hurry down the stairs, pulling on your jacket since it's raining and unseasonably cool today. You practically run to the kitchen and grab a piece of toast from the pile stacked high with it, sitting down in between your brother and mom at the kitchen island.

You eat hurriedly, planning on getting to the graveyard before it really starts to storm. You kiss your mom's forehead before you leave and rumple your brother's hair as you pass him on your way to the door. Your mother calls after you to not stay out too long in the rain, and you wave your hand at her distractedly. Although you haven't _completely_ gotten your driver's license, your mom allows you to drive to the graveyard, anyways.

The engine of your mom's Volvo purrs as you speed down the street, windshield wipers going at full-speed, the warm air blasting through the vents. It's silent for a moment until you turn the radio on, looking for something to distract your mind from last night. It's a song you know:

_Life's too short to even care at all  
Oh-whoa-oh  
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control-oh-oh  
These fishes in the sea, they're staring at me oh-whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh  
A wet world aches for the beat of a drum  
Whoa-whoa_

You sing along, softly at first, but when the song's almost finished, you are belting out the words and singing the ending softly, just like Young The Giant does in the song. The next song is played and you arrive at the graveyard a moment later. It's still sprinkling.

You sit in the car for a few minutes, realizing the tears that stain your cheeks. You brush them away, because you don't cry alone. You only cry in front of your brother and Jade – and Beck.

Because he's your best friend.

And the memories of last night are brought up again and you close your eyes as they become reality to you. You whimper at them and clutch at your sides, feeling the hurt in your heart again. Your brother wasn't lying; you did have a heart ache.

You feel sort of betrayed the more you think about Beck and Jade. Or Jade and Beck. Or even the stupid nickname they were given – _Bade_. What kind of name is that? Usually you don't think in a mean way. You try to stay away from being harsh or bitter, but there's always that side to someone. Always.

And it's nearly impossible to get away from, but when you feel that way, there's only one person that can get you out of your funk. Can bring back the old Cat, the happy, sweet one. Why?

Because he's your best friend.

But as your best friend, he's nothing more than that. He's hers. Your other best friend's. That bitter edge in you is screaming; screaming at the possibility that it could have been you and Beck, screaming at the possibility that it could have been the three of you; no girlfriend and boyfriend problems, and screaming at the possibility of no girlfriend and boyfriend problems ripping the three of you apart. Before they got together, the three of you had been the 'It' group at Hollywood Arts; the greatest group of friends the school had ever seen.

But now, it's over. The friends are no more since two of them got together and the last friend was left as the third wheel for everything.

You scream out loud, punching the middle of the steering wheel so hard it honks loudly and you cradle your hand with the other as it throbs painfully. Immediately, you feel stupid and immature, but that's just the way you are when you react impulsively. Immature. Like your brother. After breathing deeply, you pull your hood around you and open the car door, stepping into the cold, wet outdoors.

Your father's grave isn't far from the entrance, but you run anyway, thinking all you need is to just be near your dad, whether he listens or not. You find yourself thinking about the last time you came here. It was a day almost like this, but someone was with you. Not your mother. Not your brother, though he had begged to come with, but threw a fit when your mom had told him it was a special Cat thing. No, it was Beck.

Because he's your best friend.

He had wrapped his arm around you comfortingly, looking around in question since it was his first time here. You said nothing to him as you walked, and when you arrived at the grave, his breathing stopped altogether, making the silence almost unbearable. You placed the blue roses that your mother told you your dad loved so much in front of the grey marble grave, then leaned into Beck's side.

He wrapped his other arm around you and you stood like that for who knows how long. When he finally let go, the sun was shining and the clouds that had been over you were long gone. He left you alone so you could talk to the dad you wish you knew better, but had unfortunately lost at the age of three.

You're snapped out of your flashback when you arrive at his grave. The roses are still there, but they've wilted under the California sun despite the numerous amounts of showers you had the past week. So you drop to the ground in a kneeling position, ignoring the muddy ground and the weird way it feels on your bare knees. You bow your head almost subconsciously, and your hair falls into your face.

You whimper as you start to cry again, the tears coming fast and furiously. You think that you had cried enough last night, but apparently your eyes have a lot left over. They make trails on your cheeks and they sometimes move onto your nose, dripping off of it along with the rain drops. You don't say anything the whole time you're there, but you think the words to yourself. You wish to yourself, too.

You wish that he was here. You wish that he could help you with your problem. You wish that he could be here for your wedding, and for when you start a family. You wish for a bunch of things like that, but you're bitter. That edge hasn't gone away and now you start to blame your dad.

_Why did you have to go?_ you demand in your mind.

_Why did you have to leave my mom alone with us?_

_Why can't you be here to help her? She has enough work as it is, and now she has to do it alone!_

You get up suddenly and run, feeling all of the anger and hurt and sadness over the past two days crashing in on you. By the time you make it to the car, you're soaked, and on the verge of having a mental break down.

You hold on, though, because you have to get home. Because your mom needs you. Your brother needs you. And unlike your dead father, you won't leave her helpless. You won't leave her alone. You won't leave your mother's heart aching.

So you drive – somewhat blindly – back to your house. Back to the home you've always known, even if the location has changed multiple times. And you realize that you like your home the way it is; without your dad, without Beck, without Jade.

And so when the song 'Home' by Phillip Phillips comes on, you sing along like it's the greatest song in the world.

_Hold on to me as we go  
As we roll down this unfamiliar road  
And although this wave is stringing us along  
Just know you're not alone  
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home._

You're not a hug fan of country, but this song suddenly means something to you. You think, this is _your_ song. You share it with no one, and no one can take it away from you.

When you get home, your mother is still sitting in the kitchen, reading the paper. You feel that this is what your family is. Your mother, the head of the house. It surprises even yourself when you walk towards her purposefully and hug her from behind. She jumps in surprise and turns around to face you. You step back uncertainly, but she sees your tear-stained face and grabs you again.

"Oh, Cat, sweetie," she murmurs, her cheek pressed against yours. You don't cry again, but you sniffle.

"It's okay…you're okay. You're fine."

You hug your mom for a while, then go upstairs to your room to shower and change. When you finish, you sit in front of the fire that your mom started, absently combing through your hair again and again. You think of how childish you were, running from the grave. Your thoughts are interrupted, however, with the doorbell ringing.

Your mother goes to get it, and a moment later, Beck is standing behind the couch, a worried expression on his face. You only stare at him, afraid you might do something stupid or rash.

"I called him," your mom says, and you give her a pained look. She shrugs her shoulders then leaves the room, muttering, "Teenagers…"

It's silent for a minute, as he walks around the couch and comes to sit next to you. You continue to brush your hair and purposefully turn to stare at the flames.

"Cat," he whispers. You don't move, but your hairbrush glides through your hair again.

"Cat, what happened?" Silence. You don't want to talk to him. You don't even want to see him. He's infested now. He's not pure. Your special instinct's radar has an alarm whenever it spots someone you shouldn't talk to anymore. You feel like crying – an angry crying – and you don't want him to see this time. You're mad that he's no longer innocent. He's a big boy, and you're still immature, childish, and ridiculous.

You can't stand him anymore. He's gone. He's not the boy you've known since the age of one.

So you finally turn to him, your face livid.

"Go, Beck. Just go."

"W-what?"

"Go!" Your voice is so forceful that he scrambles up, a scared expression on his face.

"Cat," he pleads.

You scream and cover your ears. Your mother rushes in and you watch her as you yell at the top of your lungs. She looks at you frantically then pushes Beck out into the hallway, trying to yell over your screams. Before he disappears from view, you see him look at you, the worried look changed into one of hurt and confusion. You ignore how this hurts your own heart and just continue to scream.

You faintly hear a door slam, and when your mother walks in, you stop. You uncover your ears and rush to her. She hugs you and strokes your hair, her anger at you for making a scene long gone.

Later that night, as you lie in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, you think about how you reacted to Beck. You seemed angry and frustrated, like you were on the inside, but the more you thought about it, the more you realized that the reason why you were upset was different from the reason you thought you were upset about.

You were upset because you couldn't be like him. You couldn't grow up. And you couldn't grow up with him.

And so, as the single, lone tear falls down your cheek, you feel bad that you treated Beck like that.

Because he's your best friend.

**A bit of a shorter chapter. Sorry, I just thought there wasn't much left to write about for this scene. Anyway, when I wrote 'And you couldn't grow up with him', I meant that Beck grew up because he lost his virginity to Jade – or so Cat thinks. Haha I'm not telling but the real answer will shock you. I hope. Sorry, I'm just trying to make this as interesting as possible. And when I wrote that I meant that Cat wanted to lose her virginity to Beck along with Beck losing his virginity to her. I hope that makes sense and sorry I didn't put the meaning in the story. I just felt that that part shouldn't really have an explanation if you didn't get it.**

**So how'd you like it? I just want to point out that the ending of this chapter is also a great one to end on…just saying. But if you wanted another chapter, I suppose I could work on it. And remember, if you have any ideas for a chapter, please tell me. I like to have a single problem with each chapter, along with a resolution to it. For instance, this chapter had to do with maturity and stuff like that, and Cat realizes that she's not mature enough and Beck is, so she gets all upset about it because in her opinion, one person being mature and another person being immature won't get along together very well, so she basically thinks that her's and Beck's friendship is done. Sad!**

**Please review!**

**-TeamSwiss737 **


	3. Imperfect Puzzle Pieces

**Alright, here I go with chapter 3! I hope you guys like it and a huge special thanks to ec4lewis. Whoever you are, I want to thank you for this chapter and you really got me thinking of a lot of different versions of this chapter, but I think this one was the best. This chapter is for you!**

**And I have a big question: should I do someone else's POV? And should I continue with the 'roleplay' POV? Or should I go with first person POV? Help me please with your comments!**

**And yet another one…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. I just look eerily similar to Victoria Justice besides the fact that I have blonde hair and grey eyes.**

**CPOV-**

All of Sunday, you stay in your room. You can't bear to even get out of your bed just to eat some food or use the bathroom. Your mom thinks you're sick, and you're brother thinks you're going crazy. He comes into your room every hour of the day, begging you to tell him what you wanted.

His eyes are so sincere that your own well up with tears and you tell him somewhat harshly to get out of your room. For once, you don't want him to see you cry.

Monday morning comes too soon. Yesterday was spent thinking about a way to apologize to Beck and to explain to him your crazy behavior. You needed an excuse, but you just couldn't find one that worked. Just telling him that you got worked up about visiting your father's grave wasn't a very believable excuse, in your opinion. You feel like he could see right through that lie immediately.

You dress slowly, not really noticing the shorts you put on or the UCLA sweatshirt that you slide over your head before heading to the bathroom to curl the ends of your red hair. It's still raining; it kept you up a lot of last night. But the fact that your phone was blown up with text messages from Beck could be another very good reason why you have slight bags under your eyes.

The house is silent, in the morning. Your brother is at a friend's house, and your mom is at work already. Your Pear Phone gives a soft bleat and you pick it up gingerly, cautiously, preparing to see the latest text message from Beck. But it's not Beck. It's Jade. It takes a lot of willpower not to throw the phone across the room, but instead to reply with a '_Yeah, I'd love for you to pick me up_'.

You chew your breakfast of Fiber Nuts without really tasting it, looking sorrowfully into your bowl. Once, the electricity flickers due to the sudden bolt of lightning lighting up the dark grey sky, but you don't even flinch. It's like you aren't feeling much anymore, because the guilt is eating you alive.

You have been ready for a while when Jade pulls her black Jeep up your long, sloping driveway. She honks the horn twice and you sigh quietly. You know it's coming. You know that Jade's going to talk to you about it. Because she trusts you.

Because she's your best friend.

You run through the rain, not caring that your backpack is getting soaked, or your hair either. You shriek a little at the rumbling thunder, though, because you can feel her eyes on you. And that's what the normal Cat would do.

The car is warm when you open the door and hop in. She waits until you're buckled before she leaves. A weird quirk about her is that she's persistent when it comes to driving safely. You think about the fact that all of the years you've known her, you haven't asked why she is so cautious about driving. The radio is turned down low and she keeps her eyes locked on the road as she talks to you.

"Hey, Cat."

"Hey."

She risks a quick glance at your face, noticing the forlorn tone to your voice. You sigh and wear that mindless, sad expression, one you often wear after one of your friends insult you playfully.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing, just tired."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Because of the rain?"

"I guess."

There's a pause before she changes the subject, sensing your lack of happiness.

"So, how'd you like the party?"

Your stomach clenches uncomfortably, and you feel a wave of nausea. You continue to stare out the window because if you don't, you feel like you might start screaming.

"It was fun," you begin slowly. A small part of you tells you to cheer up; you don't want unnecessary attention drawn to you today, and being sad always gets people watching you more than usual. So you giggle lightly and turn to face her, a fake smile on your face. It feels like a grimace.

"The cake was good. And you were really funny when you tried playing football with those guys." You laugh loudly and play with a piece of your hair, your eyes almost closed like they usually are when you are about to laugh really hard. "You fell down so many times…and then you ran into the fridge…and then…" You try to gasp the words out of you in between laughs, but you can't help a fit of laughter rocking your body from head to foot.

It's funny; you don't feel like laughing at all, yet you can't help the insane-like giggles slipping through your mouth. You think that maybe it's just your feelings getting to you. Maybe it's just your weak mind and now you're seeing things in a funny way. But you know it's not true. You're dying on the inside and the only way to cover up your insane crying is to replace it with insane laughing.

Jade takes another chance at glancing at you. From the corner of your eye, you see her frown deeply. Not her usual scowl, more like a concerned grimace.

"Um, Cat?" she asks tentatively.

"Whatey?" you gasp when your breathing has returned to normal. You watch, somewhat fascinated, as a lightning bolt flashes in the sky, almost touching the edges of the trees beyond the horizon.

"What's with the funny attitude?"

"What attitude?"

"The one you're in; it's weird…you know what? Never mind. You're probably just on some new medication or something…" she grumbles to herself, taking her coffee from the cup holder and taking a swig of it.

"And by the way, Cat, that wasn't me, playing football."

You look out the window sharply, a sudden rush of annoyance flooding your head.

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't. I think I would know."

"How could you know? You were-" You stop sharply before you say anything else, your special instinct going off again, telling you that getting into an argument with Jade wouldn't be the best thing to be doing at the moment.

Jade doesn't notice your hesitation. Instead, she takes another sip of her coffee and turns the windshield-wiper speed up a notch.

"Oh, yeah," you giggle. "You're right; that wasn't you."

_Whatever, everyone else will just tell her at school_, you think.

"Did you enjoy the party?" you ask slyly, knowing that she was against the idea of it from the beginning.

"Not so much the beginning, more the end. That's when things got really fun." She says this with a twisted smile on her face and a dreamy expression. You feel like barfing all over the floor of her shiny car.

"W-why?"

She drives silently with a soft smile making her usual harsh features more pretty and delicate. This time, she doesn't look at you when she speaks again.

"I want to tell you something," she whispers. She doesn't see you bite your lip.

"What is it?" you finally ask.

"Something happened," she begins slowly. "It happened after the party. Everybody left and I stayed…to help clean with Beck."

You hold back a snort that threatens to echo around the car and certainly make Jade confused and bitter. You hate making Jade bitter, but sometimes you just can't help it. But this time, you can.

"Oh, yeah," you say quietly. "I thought I saw you before I left."

She looks at you sharply and you fear that she had seen you watching her and Beck before the door had shut on you.

"Well…let's just say Beck had a _very_ happy birthday." She smirks and you look at her, seeing red, but she takes your expression for confusion. "I don't want to get into the details, but Beck and I…we…" She struggled for a moment and you used the time to prepare yourself, to calm yourself down before the storm hit.

You can see Hollywood Arts up close now. Jade pulls into the parking lot, stopping the car right next to Beck's precious red Ferrari.

Her smirk is gone now and she appears embarrassed and undecided. She turns to you after turning the car off, but you look out the window, watching the rain paint a dark glaze over everything.

"We – we became one." She almost growls this, but you barely hear her. As soon as the words leave her lips, a ringing sounds in your ears, getting louder with each second. Your stomach is doing somersaults and suddenly your vision is blurred. You can't think properly and everything smells like blood. Salty and rusty blood.

You're silent because you can't think. You can't act. You knew it was coming and you had yourself prepare, but truly hearing it just shocked you – especially since it came from Jade.

Suddenly, you're filled with nausea. That's all you can think of, besides the graphic images slipping in and out of your mind: Jade and Beck, kissing fiercely on the couch; Jade and Beck, undressing each other slowly; Jade and Beck, tangled together underneath some blankets tossed carelessly on the couch.

You open the door quickly, jumping out of the car and leaving the door wide open.

"Cat!" Jade calls after you, but you keep running blindly. All thoughts of you apologizing to Beck about Saturday have vanished from your mind in a heartbeat. All you can concentrate on is the closest bathroom and trying to get those disgusting pictures out of your mind. You're black Converse slap against the wet ground and you wince with each step, now hearing things to go with the pictures.

You run through the rain, dodging tables when you reach the outdoor cafeteria. You can see the sign, now, the bathroom sign. Slightly hazy, due to the rain, but you can still make out the little woman that you always thought was so cute. But now, you see her as intimidating. She's a woman; you're not. Why are you going into that bathroom when it says _women_ only?

You close your eyes as you make for the bathroom, only for a moment, but it's enough time for you to run into someone.

Your head bounces off of the chest of the unfortunate person you have collided with and you almost fall backwards, but they catch you, wrapping their arms securely around your waist, and just by that one second of contact, you know whose chest it is immediately. It's almost in slow-motion as you look up, the nausea still coursing through your body and blurring your vision even further, and get swallowed in a pool of the deepest brown you've ever seen in your life. Beck's face is one of extreme concern, but you ignore him, and break free of his grip.

"Cat?"

You move quickly around him and put on a burst of speed, eyeing the bathroom door through your tears.

_Here it comes_, you think, tasting the bile in your throat and feeling it creeping up quicker than you thought it would. Your burst through the bathroom door and you're done. You retch onto the floor, and when you're finished, you collapse. Luckily, you've avoided the mess, but the world is turning black on you. The last thing you notice is the door opening.

~Bat-Bade~

Your eyes flutter open only to shut tightly again as the blinding white light stings them. You look around when your warm chocolate orbs that people call your eyes have adjusted to the beige walls and harsh fluorescent lights. You sit up quickly, observing your surroundings with half-interest and half-confusion, eyeing the skeleton model in the corner for longer than necessary. You jump when the door gives a creek, signaling someone entering the room.

"How are you doing, Sweetie?" the kind-faced nurse asks.

You stare at her for a moment, eyebrows scrunching together, and she nods.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you're overwhelmed. Probably are scared to death, aren't you? You threw up in the bathroom, then fainted seconds later, poor thing."

"Um...I'm okay," you say, looking around absently.

"Are you okay enough to answer me a couple of questions?"

You pause to look at her, your eyebrows still pulled together.

"Mmhmm," you nod.

She asks you simple questions, and you answer truthfully, but when she gets to a certain question you freeze, unsure of what to do.

"What do you think made you feel like throwing up?" she inquires, gazing at you with wide eyes.

You hesitate for a minute before the best excuse comes to you. "I didn't get much sleep, and I think I was dizzy for a while before I fainted, and I think that's why I threw up; 'cause I got dizzy."

She stares at you for a while and you smile at her sweetly, giggling softly. She smiles back then gets up from her chair that she had sat in while she questioned you.

"Well, I'll have to call your mom…unless you'd like to stay at school?"

Your smile vanishes and you can feel the color draining from your face; the idea of facing both Jade and Beck makes you want to throw up again.

You don't give her an answer and she smiles at you kindly again.

"Just tell me when you think you know. Only you know how well you are," she chides gently, opening the door. But before she leaves, she turns around to face you again.

"Oh, yes. I almost forgot but a couple of your friends would like to check up on you, if that's all right."

You nod subconsciously, thinking that Tori just wanted to know if she should find someone else to pair up with in your music class.

The nurse leaves and shuts the door, only to have it forced open again. You look, startled, at who has come to see you, and color floods your face. You blush at the sight of him, thinking about how much he cares about you. And he should.

Because he's your best friend.

But the expression on his face makes your eyes widen. He looks so shocked and worried. A quick glance tells you he's been biting his nails again, even when you've tried to put a stop to that nasty habit of his since you first became friends.

"What the _hell_, Cat?" he says loudly.

You flinch and shriek once, sliding back on the mattress you had been laying on. He stands in the doorway, watching your every move. He stands still, frozen, until his face softens. He takes three large steps into the room and scoops you up in a hug, making your lips form a huge 'O'.

"You're okay," he whispers. "You're safe."

So you lean into his perfect chest, inhaling deeply. Not caring about the reason why he's holding you like this, or the fact that you think he's not your best friend anymore. You don't argue with what he gives you.

Because he's your best friend.

**Cliff-hanger! Sorry, I just felt like this story needed one of those. So, with this chapter, I have to make another one…but like I've said before, I never finish anything, so you might have to encourage me if you really want this story to go on for a longer period of time. And I promise that I will get more songs in because I know that this school LOVES to sing. Trust me; I have so many of Victoria Justice's songs on my iPhone right now. It's actually kind of scary.**

**Anyway, how'd you like it? Lots of Cade action going on, huh? I actually **_**love**_** their friendship, so this puts a bit of a dilemma on the situation if I should make Bat official or not. I'd hate to split Cat and Jade up, but I am a **_**huge**_** shipper of Bat. Oh, what to do?**

**Anyway, I'm working on the next chapter already, but this one is going to be longer than the others. I want to make the perfect setting for when cat apologizes – if she **_**does**_** apologize. Thank you for all of the reviews! I really appreciate them. And I updated this chapter because I as up all last night, thinking about the pattern I had for the ending of each chapter, so I just had to put this in there: the 'Because he's your best friend' part. Sorry if you were a little confused and hurt when you found out that there was no new chapter, but it alerted you that I updated. I bet you felt kind of mad at me, huh? Sorry!**

**Check out my bio, too! I updated it because I though you should learn a little about me.**

**-TeamSwiss737**


	4. The Break Up Part 1

**I'm going to make this a quick Author's Note. I want to get down to writing very quickly. Anyway, thanks a TON for the people who have reviewed. I really appreciate what you have to say and criticism is always welcome.**

**And people, PLEASE tell me if I should change POVs! I really need the answer because I have a lot of good ideas for both Beck's and Jade's POVs. But Cat's POV is like second-nature to me, so please…help me!**

**By the way, check out my poll on my profile. Or wherever my poll may be, 'cause I can't find it. It will help me decide the ending of the story a ton.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.**

**CPOV-**

He sighs and pushes you away after a moment, the unhappy thoughts about him and Jade trickling back into your mind as soon as you leave his warm embrace.

"Cat, what's wrong with you? These past few days…you haven't really been yourself." He pauses to look at you, but you refuse to meet his gaze. You think that separating yourself from him now would be better to just cut him off completely in the days to come.

"Why are you like this? You won't answer my texts, or Jade's, too. You had a freak attack on me the other day. You wouldn't even tell me why you were upset and you had your mom basically shove me out the door. She never shoves me out the door! She loves me!"

You can tell he's trying to make you laugh, or at the least, smile. But you can't muster up any sign of happiness. As soon as his arms extracted from around your small body, it's like they drained your life and took it with them.

"Cat, please tell me why you're shutting me out like this!" You duck your head and stay silent, trying to be strong. Hadn't your mom always said don't talk to strangers? And Beck was a stranger now; he was an adult – a dirty, infested, mature adult. And to you, adults were big strangers. He pleads with you again to let him know what was bothering you, and it's the look of pain and sorrow and confusion in his eyes that make your guard crack.

"You're not my Beck anymore!" you snap, you voice rising an octave, making the room echo with the shrill sound.

He freezes from his position of kneeling in front of you. You finally look at him, observing his furrowed brow and lined forehead. He doesn't get it.

"What?" he breaths.

"You-you aren't the innocent boy I liked to play with. You do grown up things, even though you and I both know that I'm still laughing at cartoons and sleeping with stuffed animals. You forgot me down here, in Kid Kingdom, and you don't even care. And now I don't have my best friend to play with me; I'm by myself."

He doesn't say anything again, his eyes gazing at you with a glassy sheen to them. But you continue

"So, I'm sorry, Beck," you say fiercely. "I'm sorry for shutting you out and ignoring you and screaming at you when you're near. But that's what I do with people I don't know. With strangers. And right now, Beck, you're a stranger to me."

Your breathing is heavy, your chest rising and falling rapidly. The room suddenly gets too hot for you and you need to leave it – now. Otherwise you just might throw up and faint all over again. You slide off of the bed, carefully stepping around the frozen form of a shocked Beck. You're half way to the door when something closes around your wrist.

You turn quickly to yank free of his grip, but he's too strong.

"I don't want to talk to you, Beck!' you say loudly, hoping the nurse would hear you.

"Please, Cat…" he starts in a whisper so low, you almost don't hear him. His tone makes you stop your struggling. It's one of deepest hurt, and it makes your heart ache. Why?

Because he's your best friend.

The room starts to tilt when he drags you close to him. You struggle again, but it's a feeble attempt. You can see the cold and emptiness in his eyes, and a small part of you wants to hug him and comfort him. He usually looked like this whenever you saw him after he had had a fight with Jade. But there's something behind these lifeless emotions, something you can only describe as passion.

And then he bends over quickly, his lips descending onto yours before you can even get another look at him.

Your body goes into shock as he kisses you fiercely. At first, your lips are frozen against his, not sure of what just happened or what you're supposed to do. And then the regular instinct kicks in: to kiss back. You move your lips against his in a harmony that could only be made by the two of you. How long have you dreamt about this? And now it's finally happening. It's a long lingering kiss, one that's maybe meant for the One Hundredth Day traditional kiss in the dark with no one around. But you're fully aware of the nurse just in the other room, and the small glass window in the door, allowing anyone who stepped in front of it directly to get a clear shot of you and Beck massaging each other's lips with your own.

You're not quite finished when he pulls away, releasing your bottom lip from between his. You can't help but frown, even though the picture of a seething Jade swims into your view every few seconds. There's a zillion thoughts racing through your mind, but you decide on one.

"Why?" you whisper after a long stretch of deep breathing from the both of you.

He takes a long time before he answers you, but you wish he didn't answer you at all.

"I knew there was no way you would listen to me instead."

You don't look up at him as you gently touch your lips with the tips of your fingers. He breathes heavily for a few more minutes, but your breathing is as quiet as a soft breeze. The high you experienced while kissing Beck is long gone now, thanks to the words he spoke.

"Cat-"

"Do you love me?" you interrupt. Your gaze remains locked on the grey carpet with the turquoise zigzags as you impatiently await his much-needed answer.

"I…I – I don't know."

"Because of Jade?"

You know the answer just by seeing the hurt in his eyes while he thought about cheating on Jade with you. He's ashamed for what he did.

"Cat, I love her…"

"I know," you whisper.

"You have to understand that. Please, Cat."

"I understand clearly, Beck."

He inhales deeply, then exhales, running a hand through his thick hair.

"But Cat, I'll always be your best friend. Please remember that."

You shake your head.

"No…no, Beck. We can't be best friends. You're too different from me."

He grabs your wrists again and gives you a little shake. His tone his soft and gentle when he speaks to you.

"You don't get it, Cat. That's why we're such good friends; we're different. Have you ever heard the saying 'Opposites attract'?"

You nod slowly, a small wave of dejavu washing over you quickly, then retreating back into the depths of your mind without a trace that it had been there before.

"Well, that's how we work. How can you not see it, Cat?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" you ask loudly and shrilly.

He shushes you and covers your mouth with his hand. "It just means," he begins, "that I'm the…mature one, and you're the immature one. Or the fun one," he adds, coaxing your chin up with his hand.

You look at him for a few moments, then step away.

"Cat," he whispers, his eyes closing. You shake your head rapidly, hair rippling with the motion of it, some falling into your face and shielding you from the boy – man – you're falling for so fast.

"You'll always be one step ahead of me. And that's not how my kind of friendship goes, Beck."

You step backwards until your back is against the door. Your hand blindly searches for the handle, and when you've grasped it tightly, you give him the smallest, shyest, and saddest of smiles that you can offer. He finally opens his eyes and stares you down, eyes moving back and forth between your eyes and the hand holding the door handle tightly.

"Cat, you don't understand-"

"I do understand, Beck. Really. It's just…you left me. And you're not on Cloud 9 anymore; you're millions of clouds above me. And you wanna know the worst part?" You give a shaky laugh. "I'm falling from Cloud 9."

You force the handle down and pull the door open, leaving the room, leaving Beck. And you don't look back.

Because he's your ex-best friend.

**Ahhh! Cliffhanger – again! Sorry about that. And yes, I did say this chapter would be longer, but I have decided to divide it into two parts. I changed something in this chapter and it really affected the second half of it. So, I hope that the next part will be posted tomorrow, but I have so much work to do! Seriously!**

**There's this one model that got sick and I am supposed to find a replacement for her. Me. We have a runway show THIS WEEKEND. How am I supposed to find someone by this weekend? Don't ask me how; I'm working on it.**

**But we don't want to listen to my personal life so back to the story. Yes, if it's not posted tomorrow, it will be posted this upcoming Monday or Tuesday, so please remember to review while I'm gone and feel free to give ideas. They are always considered! Thanks for reviewing, by the way, to those who have.**

**Thanks!**

**-TeamSwiss737**


	5. The Break Up Part 2

**Here it is! The much awaited second half to the fourth chapter! Duh-du-duh! And boy oh boy, do I have some wild plans and twists coming for those who have stuck with this story and its short three chapters. I am so evil and there's a huge smile on my face as I think about the kind of ending I want…but the problem is I don't know what to put in between now and the ending. I hope the ending won't be for a while, personally. And from the reviews I am getting, you people would also like for this story to go on for a while.**

**And I honestly pulled an all-nighter writing this because you all have heard me complain about the fashion show this weekend. I need to get this out to you before the weekend comes because I don't want to leave you guys hanging for the second part! That's how bloody sweet I am, haha.**

**And thanks to an anonymous reviewer named Guest, I am writing this POV from someone else's. You'll have to read to find out whose POV it is. And please be patient for my lack of knowledge in this person's POV. Forgive me, but I'm only female, and I don't know how the male mind works completely.**

**P.S. How many of you were just waiting breathlessly for that kiss? I know I was. I needed to fit some physical Bat action in there.**

**And another one for my growing collection…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.**

**BPOV-**

And just like that, she leaves you. The only thing you can make out of her sudden departure is some words about clouds and how you were going up while she was going down. And not to mention that mature/immature crap that she yelled at you about earlier. And during that whole speech, you couldn't help but watch her; watch the passion in her eyes and notice the vast pool of hurt behind it. It honestly wanted to make you sit down and cry.

You love Cat. You know that for sure, but the 'L' word with her is like a see-saw. You go back and forth constantly between 'love like a sister' and 'love like something more'. It makes your brain hurt every time you think about it, especially since Friday happened, then Saturday night. It all just makes your head feel like it's going to explode.

You know that you're different than a lot of other guys. You know that you're more caring, nicer, and respectful. But you're still a guy and you know for an absolute fact that guys usually don't have to deal with this kind of stuff, so you get mad. You're not one to freak out; nah, that's never really been you, but this time, you just feel like screaming.

You're a seventeen year-old boy with the pressure of an acting career starting to settle down on your shoulders. Sure, your parents had sat you down a couple months back, saying that had your back in case the acting thing kind of failed, but the pressure was still getting to you. No matter what back-up plan you had, you'd always feel pressured by the situation. But what you were trying to get at is you have enough pressure as it is. You don't need this girl drama to jank up your days.

Your mind flies through the past three days and you somehow linger over every single detail.

Your sigh of relief when you find Cat sitting outside on your front porch. Yours and Cat's dance halfway through the party. The look of pure shock on your face when you find Jade sitting on your couch, half of the buttons from her red shirt hanging open. The way she Jade kissed you, and the desperation she clearly threw into it. The way she didn't hesitate to take off your shirt. The way she went around with only a bra on, trying to find candles. The way you hid they while she had her back turned-

Your thoughts are interrupted as Jade comes stomping into the room.

"Where's Cat?" she demands, her voice higher than usual. She flips her hair behind her angrily and scans the room. She doesn't look at you; only once, and when she does, her cheeks turn a bright pink. It's a time like this where you stop and think about what happened on Friday again. But you can't because she's talking to you once more.

"Hello? Earth to Beck?"

You shake your head and shrug your shoulders, not really seeing the room in front of you.

"How can you not know?" she screeches. "You were the one who barged into the ladies' room and carried her to the nurse's office, even though I specifically told you I had it under control."

"Jade," you say, exasperated. "I really don't have time to argue about this."

"Oh, so you want to avoid this conversation? Why, Beck? Does it have anything to do with the fact that you have little trust and me and don't think I can handle things all by myself?"

You roll your eyes, but give her a glare when your eye roll is finished. She was up to something…

"Where did that come from?" you ask. "Are _you_ trying to avoid the conversation, Jade? Trying to change the topic?" And suddenly, it dawns on you. There was no other reason why Jade would _not_ call you into the girls' bathroom to get Cat, after taking a couple of pictures of her first, though. "Were you afraid that I'd say something to her if she woke up? Like maybe tell her that we didn't sleep together Friday night?"

Her face burns bright red and she takes a step towards you, hand twitching like she's ready to slap you. You brace yourself for it; for the fight. But it doesn't come. Instead, she turns around sharply and leaves, slamming the door behind her, bringing back more memories of the past weekend. You don't know how, but the images seem to be reality to you as you replay them in your mind.

The way Jade's face fell as you put your shirt back on. The way she cried over you. Her face crumpling when you told her that she was wasted, and she'd regret it later. The loud echoing slam of the door as she closed it behind her, stalking off for your car while trying to put her shirt on again. The silence that almost choked you as you took the fast route to her home to drop her off.

From there until Saturday night, it's a blur, but it'll take a while for you to forget the phone call from Mrs. Valentine. You remember the tone in her voice: it was slightly panicked with a hint of desperation. You remember the way you drove like a maniac over to the Valentine's place, not stopping like you usually do to marvel in its beauty. You remember the lifeless look in Cat's eyes before she turned her head from you. You remember the way she told you to leave. You remember the way her screams sounded against your ears.

And then earlier today, when she runs into you in the parking lot. She looked so scared and so hurt. And then she ran into the bathroom only to end up throwing up then fainting! You feel kind of stupid that you hadn't hesitated to follow her, though. It is a girls' bathroom, and you did just burst through the door with the full knowledge that there were possible girls in there. But that's not the point.

You can't handle it – all of this hidden feelings crap and mixed emotions and wrong messages. You never wanted all of it, so why did you get it? You've been a good boy; you haven't broken your promise to Tori about keeping your swearing to a minimum, you've been listening to your parents a lot more recently, and above all, you haven't picked a fight with Jade at all. You're a guy, you know, so making a girl angry over you or jealous over you is kind of second-nature.

You've been on your best behavior. Isn't that enough? Nope. Nada. Negative. Because the world is against Beck Oliver.

After about ten minutes of mental conflict, you leave the nurse's office, receiving a strange look from the nurse herself as you shoot her a smile before you enter the main hallway. There are kids running around everywhere, but why wouldn't they be? It's the end of second period. You had only gone to your first class reluctantly, then skipped out on your second half-way through, claiming that you just had to go to the bathroom.

Honestly, you could use a bathroom break or time out or something. You were just so confused and hurt about everything. Not so much hurt on the Jade thing, but especially hurt on the Cat thing. You need to tackle these things; make yourself see sense when you go back to the situations. You decide to start with the Jade-problem first.

After you get your books, you walk somewhat slowly to your next class, thinking hard about Friday night. She had run around crying and yelling at you after you put your shirt back on and told her she was being ridiculous. You had tried to tell her as nicely as possible, but she was pretty much drunk, and wouldn't take no for an answer.

And then she was frosty to you the whole car ride to her place, and before she hut the car door and turned to walk into her house, she hissed at you, "Don't bother calling anytime soon."

You'd merely nodded impassively and drove away, tires of your dad's old truck squealing. In your rearview mirror, you had watched her stand there in front of her house until you turned a corner and her and her house were gone.

You didn't think much of it because you didn't really know what to think. But now, as you look back at it, was it the sign of 'good-bye'? Were you and Jade done? You could never be too sure with her; she was full of surprises, mostly unpleasant ones. Never have you really asked your opinion in the matter, but the idea comes to you quickly: do you _want_ to break up with Jade?

By the time you come to an answer, you're sitting in your desk in your third period, eyes unfocused on some spot on the wall opposite you. It's American History, one of the most boring classes that has ever been invented. Why can't you learn something worth your time? Like learning how to solve girl drama problems? Or better yet, learning how to avoid them?

No such luck. Because the world is against Beck Oliver.

Your face remains indifferent as you think about your decision. You need to tell someone about it, otherwise you might end up ripping your hair out. There's always André's…he's trustworthy enough. Maybe Tori…she's been there for you a lot when things were bad. You're going to have to tell Jade anyway. And you know she's not going to like the news, especially since she had said those words to you before you left her standing at the end of her driveway.

Thankfully, the class ends sooner than you thought it would. You jump out of your desk as if it was on fire, and exit the room, making your way down the hallway. You'll speak to Jade after school, but you can't hold it in any longer. You're bursting with the news of your self-discovery and you feel like smiling and scowling at the same time. You just need to find Cat and tell her-

And then you come to a stop. A heart-wrenching, soul-shattering, absolute stop. People shoot you nasty looks as they swerve sharply to avoid your hold up, stopping the regular flow of student traffic in the main hallway of Hollywood Arts.

You realize that you were so wrapped up in your thoughts about Jade, you forgot all about Cat. No wonder you felt like smiling.

And so then you move on to the Cat-problem.

She screamed at you. She treated you like a stranger because she thought you slept with Jade…? What was that about? Why would she make such a big thing about that? You need more information, but you work with what you have. In the end, you decide that Cat's just realizing how different you've always been. She's seeing things like other people, but reacting to them like the same Cat everyone's known and loved.

It kind of makes you want to cry, as you put your books away and slowly make your way towards the inside cafeteria. You don't feel like eating anything, and you especially don't want anyone to see you cry because you feel like you're on the verge of doing so.

"Hey, Beck," André's greets cheerfully, totally relaxed and at ease. Robbie sits next to him, and to your discomfort, Trina sits on the other side of Robbie. Jade's nowhere in sight, and neither is Tori, or a certain red-head.

You sit next to Trina unfortunately, sitting as far as possible without seeming too rude. She still was a person. A shallow, conceited person, but still…a person.

"Hey, Beck," she purrs, making you shift in your seat as she bats her eyelashes at you.

"Um, hi," you mumble, turning your gaze towards André's. He seems to be in a calm argument between Robbie and himself.

"-keeps coming back! I've tried to tell my grandma that it's always there, but she won't listen!" André's threw his hands into the air to emphasize his situation, and you roll your eyes. If only he knew what you were going through.

"You think your grandma's crazy?"

"She _is _crazy!" André's cuts in.

"Well, my grandma thinks the phones come from space, and that they're Russian spy machines. Do you even know how high her bill is at the end of the month? My dad always has to buy a new phone for them because of my grandpa's health. But my grandma just doesn't trust it, so she breaks it. She won't even try a cell phone!"

They go back and forth, leaving you out of the conversation you which you were in. Instead, you're left with Trina applying her lip gloss, leaning towards you suggestively, making puckering noises and all you can think is that she sounds like a fish.

"Hey, where's Tori and Cat?" you ask, almost desperately.

André's barely turns to you only to give you a quick glance. "Lil' Red's been in the bathroom since she's got out of the nurse's office. Tori's been trying to get her out of there since second period ended."

Your stomach drops and your heart rate speeds up. You need to tell Cat the truth, if she'll listen.

Eventually, Trina leaves and you scoot over to sit next to Robbie. For the rest of the lunch period, you sit quietly, like usual, and listen to the boys' animated conversation. You smile genuinely for the first time today as you're walking out the cafeteria doors, chuckling softly at André's grandma's craziness. You finally feel happy, when Tori comes pushing through the crowd of people, heading towards you and the others.

You give her a shy smile before she brings her hand back and slaps you directly across the face.

**Okay, I know you're going to hate me…but I've made this into a 3 part chapter. I just thought it was so important that it needed to be heard from 3 different POVs. Try to guess whose POV is next!**

**Thanks a ton. I will update next Monday, I promise. If not…Tuesday or if I can, sooner. I really hope!**

**-TeamSwiss737**


	6. The Break Up Part 3

**And here's part three. Okay, so I now you are probably confused with my bipolarnis, but not to worry. I hope this will be the last time I switch things up a lot! And this POV is Tori's, by the way. I thought she should have a say in this as well as Beck. **

**Jade suddenly became more of a minor character as soon as I made up what happened on Friday. Sorry Bade fans, but Jade is becoming more of a minor, not-mentioned-a-lot character. I'm not saying that she's not playing a big role anymore and that she's basically disappearing from this story! I'm just saying that I have no thoughts for her. Sorry, my brain can only stretch so far. So you will see less of Bade interaction.**

**I'm now trying to focus on Bat, Cori, and Bori a lot more than Bade or Jori too, because I know that there could be a chapter dedicated to them, especially if it's in Tori's POV. I just don't have to facts or enough ship in me to write about them. And just and FYI, you will hardly hear about André and Robbie. Sorry fans of those two, but as characters, they just don't appeal to me even if André's sweet and Rob's hilarious.**

**Six now. Wow…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. Yadda, yadda, yadda…**

**TPOV-**

You smile smugly in grim triumph as you watch Beck's smile disappear from his face. He turns towards you and only lightly touches his jaw, even though you can see the big, red sting mark on his left cheek. Your hand is throbbing, but you know it's worth it.

It had took you forty minutes to get Cat out of one of the bathroom stalls, then another seven to get her to calm down, not to mention the extra two devoted to pleading with Cat to let you know what was upsetting her. When she had finally given in, she forced her way into your arms and sobbed the whole story to you on your shoulder, letting her tears leave a big wet mark on your maroon Hollywood Arts zip-up hoodie.

And it made you furious.

Mainly, you were furious that Beck would betray Cat like this. Okay, so Cat was being a little weird about it by not telling Beck that he was betraying her, and true, it was a weird reason to be betrayed by, but Beck was betraying Cat. You got the big picture.

But, there's that part of you that's hurt because of what Beck did. Of what Beck _and_ Jade did.

So the slap was also for you. Seeing the look of pain and confusion on his face right after that small, shy, devious yet adorable smile made you feel better. Not quite whole, but party healed. You know you like Beck – like a lot – and just hearing about what he did and especially suffering – scratch that, not suffering – cooperating with Cat's reaction to this, you feel betrayed yourself by Beck. Not just because he broke Cat's heart, but also because he broke yours – again.

André and Robbie back away slowly, mumbling about getting to class, but Beck stays in place. His eyes show shock and clear bewilderment, and you feel kinda pissed that he wasn't even embarrassed at all. So you stare him down, and he stares back, making you feel small and causing butterflies to take over your stomach. The people around you haven't disappeared, much to your disliking, but you ignore them anyway. He takes a tiny step towards you and you swear he can probably hear your heart hammering.

He raises an eyebrow, and you know you're done for. You feel like kissing him, hugging him, squeezing him, tearing that jacket from his shoulders…

_Whoa Tori_

You breath heavily for a moment before your breathing stops altogether. He grabs your wrist and you remember where you are and the people around you. You look around at them for a few seconds, seeing if they noticed how nervous you were. And then he's tugging you away, dragging you down the hall. You try to fight him by sliding your feet on the floor to slow him down, but he takes you away easily.

"Help!" you cry out to no one in particular, but no one comes to your rescue. They just watch with curious and amused eyes. You look around him to see where he's taking you, and you see the same janitor's closet that you've been in millions of times. You struggle to free your wrist from his strong grip, but he doesn't relent, not even when you claw at his hand.

He opens the door and pulls you in before shutting it behind you. Your hair whips in front of your face and you push it away impatiently, nervously biting on your lip and watching Beck carefully. He looks at you like you've gone crazy and sprouted another head.

"Why'd you slap me?" he asks loudly. You cringe and shrink a little in front of him, but he runs a hand through his hair, something you learned he did whenever he felt guilty and troubled because of it.

It's silent for a second before you clear your throat and find your voice.

"Cat told me what you did to her," you say defiantly. "And I thought I should do something about it."

"So you slapped me?"

"Yes," you confirm, but no longer with a hint of confidence in your voice, more like uncertainty.

He groans and turns away from you, towards the wall. You feel bad and the butterflies in your stomach don't slow down, partly because of the fact that you're in a closet –alone – with the guy you like…well, more than like. You're just too scared to admit it.

"That's not even what happened," he whispers. You lean forward.

"What?"

"Cat doesn't even know what happened. She has the story wrong and she wouldn't let me tell her the truth."

"But why'd you kiss her?" you demand, more for yourself and not really for an answer for Cat. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut. He looks so stressed that you want to reach a hand out and smooth out the lines that have creased his forehead.

"I kissed her because I needed her to be quiet so I could tell her what she really means to me. I did tell her but I knew she wouldn't believe me."

You don't say anything, rather just sit silently, watching him sheepishly.

"And then she just left without letting me tell her what really happened. She had gone on and on about betraying her because of what I did but I didn't do it!" His voice rises and his face is a faint scarlet color. He swipes at a bucket placed on a small table and it flies off of it, banging against the wall and making a clanging sound echo through the small room.

You barely flinch because you're so confused. Your mouth hangs open slightly.

"Jade and I…nothing happened Friday night. Except…we broke up." Your jaw drops even lower, but he doesn't see you and continues.

"And Cat didn't know what happened, so she freaked out on me Saturday night when I came to visit her. And then today she freaked out again and I tried to tell her but she's been in that bathroom." He looks at you finally, and you seem to heat up under his gaze.

"I still have to tell her what I've decided. I have to tell her that Jade and I aren't together, and that I know who I like now. I know who I want to be with."

"Who?" you demand, pretty sure that your face is turning a certain shade of green. But you turn your eyes on him anyway, trying to telepathically tell him that you're the one for him. He wavers underneath you, blinking and looking away almost…embarrassedly.

"Who, Beck?"

"I – I can't tell you. You'll figure out soon enough. But can you please tell Cat to talk to me? I need to set things straight with her. I can't lose her as my best friend."

So you nod subconsciously, your eyes glazing over. He takes your hand and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. He's never held you like that before, but you welcome it anyway. It's over too soon, and when he steps back you almost pout. There's a sort of heated moment – in your opinion – when he takes a step back, but it's not far enough. Your torso's are practically touching, only a sliver of a space in between the two of you. But he sucks in a breath and takes another step back.

"Thanks, Tori," he says, flashing you your favorite smile of his. Secretly, you think he knows that it's your favorite.

"Yeah, no problem," you try to say as nonchalantly as possible. "I'll have Cat by your car in the parking lot after school." You hope she'll cooperate.

He smiles at you again and leaves, softly shutting the door behind him. You walk backwards until your back is up against the wall. You slide down it slowly, wishing instead that you were sinking down into the floor itself, never to appear again. You close your eyes before the tears can escape. The problem was, you didn't know what kind of tears they were…

~Bori&Bat~

The rain has been reduced to a drizzle and more smiles occupy the students' faces at Hollywood Arts, but there's everything but a smile on your face. Your lips form such a deep frown, you feel as if it might stay that way. Cat stands next to you as you lean against Beck's shiny Ferrari. She whimpers lightly and you sigh.

"He'll be here any minute, Cat," you say exasperatedly.

"I know, I just need to see him now." She grabs a piece of her long, red hair and twirls it, her eyebrows pulling together in that look she usually wears whenever she's made fun of by Jade or someone. Your heart softens even though you want to be as far from here as possible. Cat had demanded that you come with her, saying that she didn't want to face Beck alone.

Cat had decided that she needed to apologize to Beck. She was so torn up that you only felt saddened for her, not saddened or worried about your own Beck-problems. She cried a little bit, but was definitely a happier person. She felt bad for treating Beck so horribly since she thought he had betrayed her, but she was also so happy about the fact that he had never betrayed her in the first place.

So there you stand, waiting for Beck at his Ferrari.

He is half-way across the parking lot when you spot him. You observe him quickly: his hands are deep into his pockets, jacket no longer on since it's heated up measurably, head bent. You turn to Cat to let her know that he's here, but she's already running towards him. You watch as she slows down when they're within touching distance and they stand a few feet apart. You think they are talking because they don't move much, but then she launches herself into Beck's arms. He catches her and spins her around and you faintly hear the sounds of her laughs.

Of his laughs.

And then your stomach sinks. You walk away slowly, only stopping by Trina's car to look over your shoulder at the two people you consider to be your best friends. They seem so happy. So you smile softly at them, then open the car door. Trina's already in it, yapping away on her phone and painting her nails on the dashboard. You sigh and refuse to watch the couple in the side mirrors, but as you drive away – finally, you catch sight of them.

They're hugging again, but this time, it seems much more intimate than the last. Her feet are firmly on the ground, and there's no laughter coming from them. They seem to be quiet.

So your stomach sinks again because that's what will happen. That's why he didn't tell you before – because he needed to tell her first. You should be thankful that he wasn't even mad at you. You should be glad that he still likes to be with you. Why?

Because he's your best friend.

And now he's her boyfriend.

**Okay…how was that? I like Tori's POV. At the beginning of this story, I thought I would leave Tori out of this a lot, but now I have a lot of thoughts for her, so there will definitely be more Tori action. And Beck, too. And I promise I'm going back to Cat's POV now, so don't worry. This is still her story, but everyone at least should have a say. Innocent until proven guilty, right? Or guilty until proven innocent, as I like to say.**

**Thanks for the reviews and if anyone knows of a really good Bori fanfiction, I'd like to know. Also a really good Bat fanfiction would be nice, too. I just need something good to read when I'm not writing.**

**Thanks**

**-TeamSwiss737**


	7. The NotSoHappy Ever After

**Ok, this story is coming to a close. Sorry, guys. I might continue it later but I am definitely leaving it at a place where people can assume it's done. I might even make it a completed work. Thank you for all the reviews, and especially the people who have been coming back and reading my story as the chapters go on.**

**If you didn't know, I wrote a short one-shot late last night because the thought came to me, and I thought about nearly for the rest of the night, so I decided that I might add more to it like I did with this one-shot. I'm going to try and balance these two stories as much as possible, and I still have my glee story that I need to finish, but not that many people are Fabrevans shippers like I am.**

**So thanks again, and you all have really inspired me to write this last chapter. (Remember, it might not be the last – only the last for now)**

**Last one…I might cry… **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. *cry***

**CPOV-**

As soon as he lets you go, you pout. You hate being away from him at all, even if you're about two feet apart, because you feel bad for having pushed him away.

You had poured your heart and soul into your apology, and when he had smiled at you and said softly, "I forgive you", your heart melted and you jumped into his arms. He had picked you up and spun you around while you laughed. He was never that happy before so when he put you down, he told you something you never thought you would hear.

"Cat, Jade and I are done."

Your eyes go round and you automatically grab a piece of your hair to twirl nervously. You're unsure of what to say because Jade's your best friend, but so is he. So he sighs at the confused look on your face.

"You don't have to choose between us. I know that Jade's your best friend, and I'm not asking you to ditch her for me."

A tingle goes up your spine as you think about _actually_ ditching Jade for Beck. And now he's free, no longer having the weight of Jade and all her meanness on his shoulders. He was finally just Beck – not Jade and Beck. But would he go back to being 'and Beck', or maybe 'Beck and'? What about 'Cat and Beck'? Or 'Beck and Cat'?

And why did he break up with Jade? Hadn't he just said a while ago back in the nurse's office that he couldn't love you because of Jade? What had changed him? Was it your kiss? But hadn't he just done that to get you to listen to him?

You're so confused and so excited at the same time that you feel kind of light-headed. So you do the only thing you can think of: you lean forward and capture Beck into your arms. He hugs back, and the two of you just stand there silently until you can't contain your questions any longer.

"Why?" you ask quietly, taking a step away from him. "Why are you and Jade done, now?"

He smiles softly and runs a hand through that hair of his. "I realized that I'd be better off without her. She was just always bringing me down, you know? So, I broke up with her. I honestly just did before I came to see you." You look around frantically for any signs of the girl who always seemed so dangerous when she was mad. He laughs at you, one of those special understanding laughs, and hesitantly glances over his own shoulder.

"Coast is clear," he says and you laugh, giving him a sweet smile. You want to sneak in your next question, but a part of you thinks it may not be the time to talk about it. You'd have to ask it as subtly as possible.

"So, what are you going to do now that you and Jade are done?" He smiles even wider and nudges you playfully.

"I might hang out with my favorite girls," he suggests. You giggle and blush, wrapping and rewrapping the strand of hair around your littlest finger.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," you say, poking him back.

"And maybe the three of us could catch a movie, too – not Titanic, though, Cat."

_Wait, three of us?_

"Uh, who's the other person when you say the three of us?"

"Tori, of course."

Your eyebrows come together in confusion and hurt. The three of you? That was just Jade, Beck, and you. Now Beck had replaced Jade with Tori? Did that mean Tori would replace Jade in every way? Would you be the third wheel again?

"Oh," you say as happily as possible. He doesn't notice any hurt behind your eyes and gives you another quick hug before he leaves for his precious car. You stand there, staring after him.

So it hadn't been the kiss that changed his mind about Jade. It was something else – or someone else. You wonder how he decided Tori was the girl for him, and not you, even though you just had your first kiss with him, and you had been his best friend since forever.

He decided to skip you completely, not even trying to start any sort of relationship that was anything but friendship. And instead, he went to the next girl that he didn't even know for two years.

It just didn't make sense to you as you stand in the steady flow of rain that had started up again. As things become quiet, you realize you have no ride back home. He forgot you, just like he did when it came to him wanting a relationship. Because it's obvious that he wants another relationship, one that doesn't make him so sad or angry all of the time.

And you begin to understand why Beck would want to date Tori. She's gorgeous, has an amazing voice, and is kind to everyone she meets, even if they're a complete stranger who's bitter, or even if it's her sister, Trina, who can pretty much make everyone mean to her.

She's got a spunk to her while you are only that kooky, different red-head that everyone finds annoying most of the time.

So the rain dripping down your face mingles with the fresh tears as you begin the long walk home.

~Bat&Bori~

You watch from afar even though they always beg you to join them. They look happy, almost shining, when they're together. They aren't together-together, but everyone knows that they both like each other – a lot. His arm stays slung around her neck all the time, even in class. Sometimes you think bitterly about the neck pains she says she has. She always has a hand placed somewhere on him, whether it's on his chest, or his stomach, or shoulder or cheek or hand.

He kisses her cheek flirtatiously after every class, but only ruffles your hair as if you were his four year old brother. Sometimes he asks for a kiss from the both of you, and you have to comply. So you reach up on your tip toes, and so does she, but not as much as you have to, and kiss one cheek while she kisses the other. He just laughs and puts an arm around both of your waists. She laughs with him and you smile, the only thing you can manage to do.

You've been getting better at hiding every feeling you have expressed. Your face almost becomes a polite, indifferent mask. People don't notice because they're too busy staring at the new 'It' couple. Robbie's there to comfort you because he knows that your feelings for Beck are not mutual. You won't admit it, but he sees it in the way you look at Beck.

Jade also comforts you. You realize that when Tori replaced her, you fell more out of the group than you did when her and Beck had started to date. You've grown closer to her in the past six weeks since Beck and Jade had broken up. She truly has become your best friend, no more jealousy tainting your spa days, or sunny hang-outs at the beach.

In fact, it's sort have become the four of you. André and Robbie often come with you and Jade to the movies or the beach or the Gorilla club, or pretty much anywhere – especially Nozu. You know that André likes Jade, and she had admitted to you not three days ago that she kind of liked him, too. It's obvious Robbie likes you, but you know you can't get over Beck.

He's disappointed you so many times it hurts just to think about it. But that's all you can do about it: just think. You can't act out or say anything to him because you don't want to ruin his relationship with Tori and the rest of your rag-tag group of friends. Or ruin his relationship with you.

Because he's your best friend.

**Aw. It's over – for now! Just be patient, my readers. Thanks again for the reviews and look for more stories from me soon! Maybe I'll do some Bori stuff. I always thought they would make it.**

**Always writing-**

**TeamSwiss737**


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